This is an excerpt from, Hope And Possibility Through Trauma by Don Shetterly. It is part of Chapter Two. Hopefully it will give you a better idea of how the book is laid out and what is written in it. I would ask that you respect my work and not make copies of this to distribute.
For more information and to purchase this book, please go to DonShetterly.com or click the button to purchase it on Amazon. Available in paperback or Kindle versions.
Chapter Two
Hope And Possibility Through Trauma
By Don Shetterly
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Hope Of Possibility
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The Hope Of Possibility
Have you ever looked at your day and your life, and said “that’s not possible, there’s no way I can ever do that?” If you haven’t, I would be surprised as I think this is a pretty common thing for most humans to face at some point or another in their lives.
Yet, throughout the history of the world, we’ve seen ordinary people do extraordinary things and accomplish tasks that were nothing short of impossible at the time. There are so many examples of this.
So, if we view something as impossible, how do we go from impossible to possible?
We might conclude that one would need to believe that what we want to do is possible, and that having the right mindset is the key to beginning the journey. However, I know there have been many times in my life that I could not see the possibility of something, to get myself started. In those times, I relied on hope that there was a hope of possibility to get where I was going, and that’s about all I could muster up the strength to do. Even in these moments, this was almost too difficult to do.
So what if we took a moment to acknowledge something in our life that we view as impossible today, and maybe hold for just a moment that there is a hope that it may be possible? Just holding that thought in our mind gives us a different energy and potential than viewing something as impossible. Whether what lies before us can be accomplished, we will only find out as we travel the journey that lies before us.
We don’t have to know all the answers in that moment, or be able to see things with vivid clarity. All we have to do is offer ourselves that the hope of possibility exists, and allow our journey to unfold before us. That’s it! That’s all! Yes, we may have our doubts and we may have our pains, inflictions, and boulders standing in our way, but those don’t concern us at this moment. The only thing we need to stay focused on is that the hope of possibility exists within us. The rest will find its way.
So my challenge to you today is to not just accept what I’m saying as gospel truth, but to test it within yourself. See if this works or if it doesn’t. Test it. Try it and challenge it. Find that part within your mind that says “this is not possible,” and then replace it with “I have hope that it is possible.” Let the rest unfold as it will on its own, and in its own time. There is no need to control or manipulate the events, but to just allow them to happen.
I celebrate the hope of possibility to each person that reads this. (Written on 1/15/10)
Through Deep Layers
Have you ever looked at something through a microscope? I remember during science classes in high school and college, looking at all kinds of things from little bacteria to many types of objects. Through the naked eye, we were able to see something much different than through the microscope. Even with the various power adjustments of the microscope, we could see many layers of whatever it was we were looking at. More powerful microscopes allowed us to look even deeper into an object.
Just like looking deep into an object through a microscope, the same could be said that this is exactly what healing is all about. It is going through the layers and then when you think you’ve seen everything, adjusting the power and going deeper yet. As you go deeper, you see things that you were not even aware of, or realize existed. Yet, they are there.
So go deeper than you have gone so far! See what all there is to see in your life and find that which you do not know exists. Then see just how far down the rabbit hole you can go. (Written on 7/01/10)
Can I Make It?
A week ago, I was wondering in life if I would ever come to a point in my healing where things really changed in a way where I could go “that’s it – I’ve got it!” I was beginning to get frustrated and tired of this process after several years of working intensely on things. The entire ordeal of the rash that started a few months back was almost the last straw that I could take.
Life was not easy for me, and these recent developments have pushed my limits to the max and made me question everything that I know as well as all that I have learned. I am a person with great courage and determination to go through all that life has given me, but some of these recent events challenged me to the point of near exhaustion. There is a part of me that understands the higher purpose for this, but when your body becomes weary and bruised to the bone, the capacity to go on is diminished.
So many people in my situation or other situations often give up or turn to alcohol, drugs, work, or other things to numb themselves. I had my own ways that I numbed myself out. It may appear that it is far easier to just numb one’s self than to find the strength and courage to face these things head on. However, if we continue to run from the fear and numb our pain, then we are only inviting a life full of heartache, despair, and one that just seems to be too much to deal with.
Trauma changes our biology and it alters who we truly are as a person. Child abuse and trauma take the power away from the victim, rendering them as participants in their body but not in control of who they are. No matter what that individual desires, without going into the process of fully discovering, acknowledging, and releasing all that has gone on, these things will continue to hold power over the individual. It is like a short circuit in the brain. The effects of trauma are biological, physical and mental.
But just as I was coming to the end of my rope, the question of another blog entry, Are You Ready To Let Go? (See page 47) came front and center with me. A war was waging that day within me, during my session with Dr. Canali, to let go of something that I could not put into words. However, I knew it was there. At the same time, it was difficult even to begin thinking about letting go of it. After all, it was something I had known for many years, and it was something that was such a part of me.
So as the session continued, I found myself being very sensitive to all that was going on, but still feeling like I was coming up against the short circuited part of my brain; the part that said, “You’ll never get through this – you can’t do this – you’re not worthy – you just won’t make it – you’re not good enough!” As badly as I wanted to let go of that part of me, I realized just how difficult it was, because it had grown so interconnected within me that to pluck it out meant I had to give up something that was so attached. As the session went on, Dr. Canali did acupuncture on me and my body was so afraid of it, that it was hunched over trying to protect itself. My body was literally shielding itself from the acupuncture.
When I left the office that day, I felt discouraged because I didn’t really think we had made any progress. By the time I got home from the five hour drive that night, my neck, shoulders, arm, and back were in pain. They were stiff and sore, and I began to blame it on sitting in the car for that long.
Of course by the next morning, the anger was coming through in full force. I felt like I was pissed off the moment I woke up, and really didn’t understand why. My body ached and I felt horrible. Of course, Dr. Canali reminded me that this was all part of the process and not to go into the fear of it. He encouraged me to work on myself on the table, which I did, and that helped a lot. He said by the next day I would feel much better, and I did.
I woke up that next day feeling much lighter, freer and completely different than the day before. In the past, I’ve had moments where I felt better and more free and more relaxed, but somehow, I knew this was different. It was a feeling of being connected to my heart and just not overwhelmed like I normally am. I noticed the anger was not anywhere near the level I normally have to deal with. It was a strange feeling and unusual, because I don’t think I have ever experienced it before.
Several days later and through a very stressful week, I’m still feeling very light, connected, and centered. It is hard to explain but it is a wonderful feeling. This is a week later and it is still with me. I’m noticing that I’m able to talk to people and not feel so shy or nervous, or sense the complete terror in my stomach. I’m noticing that I’m seeing people in a different light than I ever have, and that feeling is coming from compassion instead of judgment and fear.
Anger has been replaced by a willingness to be in the moment, not be bashed around by the moment. The source of anger seems to be dwindling and decreasing unlike any other moment in my life. I’ve had experiences in the past few days where I’ve had some deep connections with people I hardly know, and felt confident enough to share things that I do understand.
I’m experiencing a confidence in myself unlike any I’ve ever witnessed before. The stress of the week did not cripple me. In fact, the stress just seemed to flow through and out of me. Yes, I felt the emotions at times and the effects of it but it didn’t stay. It didn’t last. If I acknowledged it, I noticed that it just sort of went poof!
As I shared this with Dr. Canali today, he reminded me that what I’m experiencing is normal and it is the way life was intended to be. I’m thinking – wow – I like this! Bring this on some more! Give me more of it!
Once again, to bring this point home in a crystal clear way – – this is not something that I get my mind to focus on, or wish for, or do whatever else that many other people do. It is something that has come from the inside out at the core level of my being. It is not something I’m doing or creating – it is just happening and it is just coming from the true part of who I am. It’s almost boggling to my mind to think about, let alone experience.
I’m sure there will be some more bumps along the way and I may stub my toe on the rocks in the path but for now, this is one heck of an experience. To think a week ago, I was at the end of my rope, and to see where I am now is making me want to jump up and down for joy! Sometimes we truly need to get to the end of our rope in order to find out there’s a ledge to stand on below us. It takes a lot of courage and faith to let go of the rope, but if we don’t we’d just tire ourselves out, all the while missing the ledge to stand on below.
And the best part about this is all of this is real! It isn’t someone’s idea of what it should be or some result of some method that gives you warm fuzzies. It is a part of the core of my being. It is now a part that shows the real person I am. It comes from deep within and now it is part of me. I am reclaiming my life and for the first time, I’m truly getting a glimpse of what that life is about. It’s beautiful and it’s a joy-filled moment that is deeply rooted within me. That’s the part that makes it so special, because when our experiences and our healing are deeply rooted within the body, they are as real as you can get! (Written on 2/25/10)
For more information and to purchase this book, please go to DonShetterly.com or click the button to purchase it on Amazon. Available in paperback or Kindle versions.
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